this year, 2019 is quite the weird and confusing year for me, mainly because of the studio move, that is just not happening. I want to thank everyone who offered their support so far in helping to move. Sadly I can not tell you a date. The situation right now is the following:
It is what it is, right!
To a recommandation of some friends I make my mind up and speak about this frustrating situation.
The studio is no place anymore I feel very happy being at. I feel good when I am not alone there, with students of a weekend class or private coaching. Still I find it hard to connect back with the good old times. Due vandalism in the hallways and tons of garbage outside it looks very postapocalyptic. Not many people are left in these buildings and being there feels like you are the only troll left living under a roof that should be burned.
On the horizon there is the promise for new rooms for many artists of the culture park, but it goes much slower than expected and nobody is really to blaim nor does it make any difference. I was trying to cope the time until the move with spending much time on the outside as the studio vibe and the loneliness there made me feel depressive (deep rest). It felt so strange sitting there, knowing to pack all your stuff when the call of a date occours. I was creativilly blocked. Here the summer felt much better:
To get rid of these emotions I tried to run away and did welcome every visitor … distraction.
… and there comes the point where you can not hold still anymore, where you encountered all insects in your hemisphere and studied them. The point where your inner frustration can not stand still anymore and trying to be a calm buddha-like person does not work out anymore. At least emotions are back. It does not mean I smashed these insects. I still find calm and relaxation with and in nature and I am grateful that I can.
Sometimes it feels that I and the world have forgotten why MV exists and what I personally see as its purpose. It’s purpose is a free access to everyone in sharing ideas, tutorials and ways of teaching. Of course it is something that deeply connects to my self-employment job. I work on seperating my job as an artist from MV as good as I can via www.romanlappat.com
The studio used to be the heart of Massive Voodoo.
It was carried by the friendship of several friends there. Time that was spent together, shared with the joy of painting. It still happens once in a while, but it is not a regular thing anymore. It needs that new start, that freshness. Right now it is a cave inside a mad place that just is not fun anymore. The heart of the jungle is in pain. It is time to say goodbye to it and build up a new and fresh soulfilled place. Of course saying goodbye to such a place is painful and this is what goodbyes in life can bring, but being on hold with this feeling is just … no words for it.
The good thing is I am not alone in the studio. I do share it with Johannes from Munich, who drops by once in a while and we share cool painting days together when he is free from his regular job. During these days you can hear the studio heart beating again. They are rare, but precious.
Of course I am checking other options.
Renting another place for example, but it is hard to find anything. Even thought about moving the studio home into my appartment, but I know that I would not like this for long. Recently I have meet some cool people who are in the same boat as I am and we might gang up to find something else with a larger group of people: A photographer and a Studio of graphic design, but this is all on the horizon.
Instead of running from it I decided to go there more often now.
It is still alive and it deserves a better end and goodbye instead just abanding it and waiting til its death. This decision feels good, filled with less frustration, but therefor a little healthy ange 🙂
In the meantime I am still working on my skills as a nature autist …
but at least I paint again 🙂
You want to support Massive Voodoo?
If you like to support or say thanks the monkeys of Massive Voodoo in what they do, please feel invited to drop a jungle donation in their direction via paypal or check their miniatures they got on sale here.